Saturday, September 22, 2007

9/19 - 9/22/07 Desperately Ill and Scared -- Dark Times

Early on in Medford, I came down with a terrible, painful bladder infection so I went to an Urgent Care and got great treatment. One small detail – it didn’t appear from the test that I had a bladder infection. Had to explain about the recent gall bladder surgery 6 weeks previously; closing down the Orange house and living fulltime in the RV; and the nightmare cold aggravated by the lush green ferns and redwood trees. (I left out the Maccabi games opening ceremonies for 12,000 people.) Saying it out loud, it sounded a little over-the-top even to me!

Eventually, I left with five drugs: inhaler for the lingering Cough, antibiotics for possible giardia, cream for a yeast infection, pills that turn my urine orange to limit the bladder pain and antibiotics to clear up the bladder infection – Septra.

Two days later I was back. I was covered with a rash from head to toe. I felt like crap. I had been desperately sick the night before – I was achy, queasy and miserable. I felt so poorly that I wanted to check into a hotel.

Now there’s an unusual thought – at 1:00 in the morning how could I possibly believe a hotel would be more comforting than an RV? It was my second night awake at odd hours.

I spent my time in the scary dark reworking my life, analyzing my mistakes – and yes, concluding that the road trip was a stupid idea. I let in all the fear gremlins about the children getting hurt or dying, different critical parts breaking down on the RV, perhaps destroying my relationship with Mel by leaving him behind in OC 70% of the time and the unexpected death of those I care about. Even the dog made her way onto the worry list – what if she got lost?

My brain was filled with things so dark that I finally gave up and took a sleeping pill to stop myself scaring myself further. It was no surprise when I woke up to have this extreme red rash – even the whites of my eyes were red! All-in-all it was just a drug reaction – three days later I was back to my old self.

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