Saturday, October 6, 2007

10/6/07 Reassessing and Improving Life in the RV

Sarah and I had a long talk about life in the RV. She had many valid complaints. Many of her complaints were about living in such close proximity with Dave. She is very aware of the two different styles of “mommy-management” between her and Dave. She discounts Dave’s Aspergers and wants a higher level of accountability from him.

Deeper, she resents not having a home and is ambivalent to negative about the RV trip. I can’t blame her for her lack of choice in the RV journey, it was not a democratic decision. My hope is that she’ll come to value the trip and the experiences of seeing all the states, if not during the course of the trip, then as an adult. Most of the other complaints were typical teenager-parent concerns that she and I would have no matter where we lived. I assured her that I would begin work immediately on areas I could improve now and would work toward long-term solutions for the other problems.

I took up a similar conversation with Dave. He says that he understands how Sarah could feel about a double standard and in light of his birthday (and in his mind the short twelve months until he turns the magical age of 16, an important milestone for him), he has resolved to step up toward a higher level of responsibility and accountability. He is completely committed to the RV trip concept and has no complaints, save one, about Sarah.

He views her as hyper critical and wishes she could go for 24 hours without criticizing him. It’s easy to see his point-of-view. She doesn’t cut him any slack. The concept of “I’m OK; you’re OK” or “live and let live” still alludes her. Fortunately Sarah has a fascination with the 60’s and the hippy lifestyle – so I’m hopeful about her becoming more accepting of us all.

No comments: