12/20/07 25 years of Photos and Memorabilia -- Free at Last!

The most important thing that happened while I was Huntington Beach, and I’m still not sure how to put it into words, is that I became free. Free to soar mountain tops like an eagle. Free to explore individual flowers like a butterfly. If questioned about the top ten moments of my life, one of my answers would definitely be finishing the organization of my twenty-five year collection of memorabilia and photographs.

First you need to understand the problem: I had almost 20 boxes of memorabilia, photos and negatives. (For the sake of this project, we decided to leave Mel’s huge slide collection untouched since they were mostly before our time together, were artistic/nature photography and generally weren’t of the family.) I had inherited my mother’s photo collection which was in large part duplicates of pictures I had and Mel had a large number of his mother Edith and grandmother Sarah’s photos that he promised his sister he would scan and that she could keep the originals.

This last year I purchased two excellent quality scanners – one for photographs (and office documents) and a separate one for slides. I had separated the negatives from the photos and kept them safely in a fireproof file cabinet. I organized some of the photos chronologically. Sharman deconstructed the magnetic page scrapbooks that had grown sticky and yellow with age which held some of the best pictures. In summary, 40% of the pictures were in chronological order, many were duplicates, and plenty of the pictures were redundant, average or just plain awful.

The first task was to separate the memorabilia from the photographs. Then I put all the photographs in chronological order so it was easy to remove the duplicates – we worked the 4x6” and 3x5” photos together and the larger/unusual sized photos in a different section. Then we labeled groups by year, month and event where possible. Then came the hard part – we threw away 70% of all the photos. Granted, many were duplicates and just plain average, but if the picture didn’t “tell the story” or contain a special memorable image, out it went. We also threw away all the negatives.

Our plan is to scan these remaining photos, make back-up dvd’s for the safe deposit box, make three sets (one for Mel and I and one each for Dave and Sarah when they are grown) and then load the digital pictures into 2 or 3 new LCD digital picture frames for the RV. (I got to see one of these frames used when Karen loaded one with 50 years of family photos for her father – the slideshow feature made the pictures come alive!)

We did something similar with the memorabilia. For example, one of my first dates with Mel was to “Cats.” I had saved the playbill and ticket stubs. For this project, I cut off the cover and used the ticket stubs to make a page that we could scan. I have 20+ years of treasures from my exciting and full life with Mel; some went in the trash and others were saved. We are scanning the children’s art work, medals and awards. We’ll scan the travel postcards and treasures. Then we’ll place the digitized memorabilia pictures chronologically with the photos.

Turning twenty boxes worth of unorganized pictures and memorabilia into four boxes of organized treasures took far longer than I had planned. Fortunately my parents were very gracious about the mess I made of their dining room and allowed me to extend my visit by an extra five days. Mel gave up our romantic weekend plans to help sort the pictures.

The project was alternatively thrilling because there were so many photos we didn’t remember and exhausting because it was emotionally draining to let go of the past. My image for the final product is that my pictures and memorabilia will move from boxes and dusty scrapbooks to giant slideshows in digital picture frames that I will enjoy every day of my life.

I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels to have this project done. I feel free. 

12/15/07 There's No Place Like Home!

December was a month full of expectations for the Malkoff family – each one of us had different plans and desires. Mel anticipated that the boat would be finished and that he’d be making his new on-the-water home in Long Beach. Sarah planned to help Mel outfit the boat, decorate her cabin, catch up on her school work and visit friends in Orange County. Mary Ann had a weekend full of Bar Mitzvah festivities for her friend Demi's son and scheduled visits with friends and family around her photo and memorabilia organization project. Dave intended to eat at his favorite sushi restaurant, visit with his grandfather and go for long walks.

Sarah and Mel were already in Orange County, since they had left Thanksgiving Weekend before Dave and I went to the Grand Canyon. They were seriously disappointed – new problems with the boat engine and an awol electrician meant that there was little hope of Sarah getting to help Mel move on the boat. Fortunately, Sarah got to spend weekends with Audrey – which thrilled both of them.

Dave, Mayim and I managed the 8 hour drive without mishap and were thrilled to meet the entire family at the Lazy Dog in Huntington Beach. Sarah, Dave and I went off to sleep at the parent’s in Huntington Beach and Mayim went back to Al’s with Mel.

Besides staying with Audrey and hanging out at Mel’s office, Sarah visited friends, went to Knott’s Berry Farm, Disneyland and Rainbow Kids homeschool group outings, and shopped with Amber.

Dave visited Logan, his beloved teacher Dr. Harder, hung out with his grandfather who took him to his favorite sushi restaurant and to see Coach Rick at the Baseball Academy, and hosted Logan in Huntington Beach several days for long walks and Magic tournaments.

Mayim luxuriated with her doggie friend Mandy in Al’s Villa Park back yard and gave us quite the scare when we thought she had left the yard one evening (she was snozing and didn't hear us call) and another morning when she was so lethargic she couldn’t manage to eat her breakfast (was downright perky at the vets and got a clean bill of health).

Oddly enough I had never stayed the night at my parent’s house. Don and Karen married the year before Mel and I and since I’ve always had a home nearby, I’ve never needed to be an overnight guest. Of course, Dave and Sarah have stayed over a zillion times, but it was my first time in the lovely bed and breakfast-style guest room known as “The Cave.” Karen and I enjoyed girl-time together – we went for massages and pedicures. It was unique and special to have time to hang out with my parents enjoying coffee in the morning and reviewing the day’s events in the evening.

Holiday Slide Show with Family


I made special time to meet up with Jerry, Nancy, Demi, Catherine and Susan, who had done so much to help me close down the house when I was still so weak from the emergency gall bladder surgery. Mel’s sister Susan made a special trip up from Ventura to spend the day. Seeing friends in this relaxed mode was a treat; my last two months in the OC were frantic and not the best way for me to say thank you for people who mean so much to me.

11/28/07 Grand Canyon Mule Ride

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Dave and I fell into a different pace with Mel and Sarah gone. He began studying math for his High School Exit Exam and I worked on my writing. We both started taking Mayim on very, very long walks. Dave took over the role of making dinner and I did the dishes. We watched science shows in the evenings.

We talked. We talked some more. Since I don’t know much about vampires, werewolves and shinmas, I needed a lot of background to get caught up. We talked more. It was interesting to have a conversation with him – it was like talking to an adult. I was surprised at how much he has matured and the kinds of the things that are on his mind.

On one of the walks, I found a way to get down a way to get down to the river at the edge of the Thousand Trails preserve. Since we weren’t in the park anymore, I’d let Mayim off her leash. As we walked along, I looked back and Mayim was rubbing her face on the ground. Bad sign, she’s been known to roll around in goose droppings or deer poop. Then she started rolling on her back. So I walked back to see what disgusting thing she’d been rolling in and I realize in horror that she is covered with giant stickers larger than big jelly beans.

She has giant stickers on both sides of her muzzle, in the pads of her feet, in her tail and on her back. These are the most awful stickers, the spines feel like needles and they are completely embedded in her fur. I didn’t realize how bad the stickers were, so I took the ones out of her muzzle closest to her eyes first. The poor dear, she was standing with those stickers between her toes, while I worked on the stickers on her face. My fingers were burning from sticker pricks, but I knew I couldn’t stop. We were too far away for me to carry her back to the RV so I could use gloves. I would have given anything for a pair of scissors because I was ripping her fur out with each sticker.

I finally got her back to the RV, gave her an all-over grooming, and used scissors to cut them out of her tail. At the end, I was brushing her beautiful heart-shaped ears, and I found one in her ear. Mayim has suggested we stay on the paths for a while.

The feeling of longing about the Grand Canyon didn’t go away. I decided to be impetuous and call the mule ride desk. They could get us in on Wednesday! I booked for the two of us, got lucky and got a room with a twin bed and a double bed at the Bright Angel Lodge for a great price, and scheduled Mayim at the Grand Canyon’s kennel.

Dave and I packed up for an overnight trip to the Grand Canyon so that we could make the early meet up time for the seven-hour mule trip. It took longer to get to the Park than we’d planned, so we called ahead to the kennel. The staff assured us not to worry about it, that we could check her in at the hotel. Ummmm. No. The hotel front desk staff was clueless.

Fortunately, we went to the kennel ourselves, called the emergency number on the door and got her checked in by a Grand Canyon Fire Fighter. A handsome fire fighter, imagine my delight! He was more than glad to talk about fire fighting in the Canyon, his opinions about the Southern California fires, and the importance of controlled burns until Dave suggested that since Mayim was checked in, we could leave now. Thanks, Dave.

We went to dinner at the Arizona Steak House. Dave was extremely happy – steak with chocolate cake for dessert!

Our room at Bright Angel Lodge was perfect except the walls were extremely thin. We could hear the guy in the next room singing! Yikes! We were glad that they didn’t have tv’s in the room so all our neighbors went to bed early. Dave’s CPAP breathing machine mask broke and he and I were both worried about him snoring the night away, but he was a good roommate.

We set three alarms so we would sure to be up on time. No problem, we packed all our stuff, had a giant breakfast and went to meet our mules with our special water-filled boda bags and yellow rain slickers.

At the head of the Bright Angel Trail in the Stone Corral, the supervisor of the mules spent 30 minutes describing the ride, the pain that we would experience in our knees and other parts of our anatomy and how he would refund our money if we backed out now. He assured us that this was not the easy way to see the canyon, hiking was much easier and riding the shuttle bus was easiest of all.

There were only five of us on the one day trip – everyone else was going on the two day trip – and I watched the couple in front of us blanch from the description of the aches and pains. I thought they were goners for sure; I was positive they would get a refund, but they didn’t.

Our mules Bubba and Cory were very strong and capable. The trip was amazing and I’m thrilled with the pictures of the Grand Canyon as we went out to Plateau Point overlooking the Colorado River 1,300 feet below. Dave had a great time too. It was a lifetime dream fulfilled for me.



At lunch time we found out that the couple was on their honeymoon! The husband had refused to go hiking on his honeymoon, so his new wife scheduled the mules. The two were not horseback riders, were hesitant to be firm with their mules and the mules knew it. I didn’t see them ever put their weight in the stirrups to make the ride a little easier on their rears. They were miserable at the end of the ride.

Watching those two get off their mules first made Dave and I a little hesitant to get off at the end of the ride. I won’t say we hopped off our mules and were fine, but we were better than we’d hoped. We picked up Mayim and drove home the two and half hours to the RV. We didn’t really want to, but you must shower after a 7-hour mule ride, and we collapsed on our beds. We were both still stiff with sensitive tail bones the next day, but the following day we were mostly fine.

On Friday we’d been inside due to a heavy rain storm. It started raining this morning and rained through the next morning -- the storm dropped 3" in our area and many roads were closed due to flash floods. I stayed in the RV and Dave went to the clubhouse. Since Mayim couldn’t get a long walk, I played a rousing game of fetch with her in the RV. In the evening, I heard a fan running that I didn't know what or where it was -- every few minutes the noise would pulse and turn on and off. I couldn’t figure out what it was.

I tried turning off the heat, I turned off the electricity to the RV at the outside pedestal, I tried starting the engine on the RV to see if that made a difference. I could still hear the noise. I called Mel who suggested I turn off the batteries that run the RV and he mentioned that the batteries operated the emergency lighting and the stairs so I’d need the flashlight. So with my cell phone in one hand and the flashlight in the other, I went outside the RV to see if I could hear it from the outside.

Who would think, when the batteries are off, the stairs come in. So I fell three feet out of the RV. For a short few minutes I thought I broke all my toes on my right foot, but my pride was the only thing hurt. But still I couldn’t figure it out, so I went next door and asked the husband to come over to help me track down the fan noise.

When he came over, I demonstrated turning off the house batteries and had him stand in the dark where I could hear the noise best. He said that the noise was coming from the duffle bag Dave was packing to go back to Orange County. We opened it up and his travel toiletry bag was making the noise. It was his toothbrush! Mayim must have stepped on the bag when we were playing and turned on his chargeable toothbrush! Now my pride was more than wounded. Not only did the guy next door know I was an idiot, I had to call Mel back and tell him.

11/21/07 Grand Canyon, AZ and Thanksgiving

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Having the entire family together in Cottonwood was a treat. We’d been to this park before, so we didn’t feel that we had to explore the area -- we took it easy instead. This park doesn’t have WIFI at the RV’s, only in the clubhouse, so it wasn’t long before the kids abandoned Mel and I. Mel hadn’t taken a break since he last left us and he really needed to rest and recharge. It felt good to putter doing small chores and to catch up with one another.

Mel was certain that a trip to the Grand Canyon was a must. After all, it would give him a chance to try out the GPS (like Mel needs a GPS to find the Grand Canyon). I’ll admit that I need it, but Mr. Map was just trying to think of a good reason to get me in the car for a 2½ hour drive each way. Finally, he “guilted” me – what kind of parents were we if we’d been to Arizona twice and hadn’t taken our poor deprived children to the Grand Canyon. He won that round, and I packed a lunch and got in the car.



However, I had grown cavalier about being in the desert and the warm temperatures back in Cottonwood. As we got closer and closer to the canyon, the temperature kept dropping. It was now in the low 60’s and I hadn’t brought any warm jackets. Fortunately, Dave, Sarah and I have been cold for so long that we were able to be comfortable in our lightweight jackets even though it was windy.

We made a gasoline and drink stop nearby the park and found that the market carried Mother’s Cookies, Mel’s favorite. Unfortunately, we had to share the iced oatmeal cookies with the children. We almost went home that way so we could get another pack!

The most amazing thing happened when we hopped out of the car and trotted over to the edge of the canyon. Mayim went to jump up on the wall to sit, like she had done a few days earlier at Zion while we were waiting for Mel and Dave to get back from their hike. I certainly wasn’t expecting her to jump onto the wall. Mayim certainly wasn’t expecting a 7,000 foot drop on the other side of the wall. She got down very quickly – or I pulled her off the wall – or a combination of both.

Sarah was with me, and at the same time, probably from imagining that we were about to lose Mayim to the depths of the canyon, she started to experience terrible vertigo. She was panicked. She turned grey and a light sheen of sweat covered her forehead. She backed away from the rim across the path and held on to a tree like the path was going to crumble into the canyon any minute. After we pried her loose a half hour later, she was unwilling to do anything more near the canyon edge.

Mel and Dave separated from us and went on a photo safari. Sarah and I enjoyed a bus ride (never leaving our seats or getting close to the edge) and spent the rest of the afternoon at El Tovar’s historic hotel drinking tea and eating desserts.

Mel had always wanted to go on the East Rim Drive to see the Desert View Watchtower at sunset. Sarah was a trouper, she wanted to put as much distance between her and the canyon as possible, but she agreed to go. The Watchtower was built in 1932 as a replica of a prehistoric Indian tower and has a magnificent view of the Grand Canyon.

The drive took us longer than planned, sunset was earlier than we’d thought casting shadows in that area of the canyon and in general, we were prepared to be disappointed. When we got to the parking lot, another driver needed a jump and we had cables, so it looked like Mel would be out of luck.

I decided I would handle the stranded motorist and keep Sarah with me away from the edge. Mel and Dave hurried out and got some fantastic pictures -- Mel thinks they were worth five hours worth of driving. Sarah found a tumble weed and had great fun letting it blow around and then catching it again. Tumble weeds are so cute the way they bump along.

All-in-all, it was a memorable day. I can be glad that I wasn’t able to get reservations for the mule ride for us – Mel was too big and who could have known that Sarah would have problems with heights. But the day left me with a feeling of longing, like I hadn’t spent enough time in the canyon and that I wanted to enjoy it some more…

The next day was Thanksgiving. We decided to dine at the community meal. The food was tasty, the price was reasonable and there were no dishes to wash. At the time it seemed perfect. Then in the early evening I found myself pacing the RV kitchen, opening the fridge and looking for … looking for … finally, I realized, I was looking for Pumpkin Pie. There is no leftover pie if you go out to eat! Next year, we might eat out, but we’ll buy a pie for snacking on later.

On Friday, Mel and I made trips to Home Depot and worked on honey-do projects. He created a quick release water system for me (no drips, no twisting hoses on and off in freezing weather, yeah!), fixed cupboard doors, wired an outdoor antenna for the direct tv for our movable dish and put up my map of the United States. It was so exciting watching him put on the stickers for all the states where we’ve already been.



Sarah and I worked to pack her up to go back with Mel for a three week visit. She is going to visit with her friends, organize her new bedroom (berth) on the boat, spend time with her grandparents and uncles and hang out at the office doing school work. It was bitter sweet, she was so excited to be going back to Orange County, but I am going to miss her very much. Dave and I will come for a shorter visit around December 5th so the entire family can attend Josh Zimmermann’s bar mitzvah.

It was very sad to see the two of them drive off on Saturday. The RV was breathtakingly quiet after all the hustle and bustle of the previous week.

11/16/07 Zion, UT

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Friday morning at 8:00 am I met with our service manager and found that the RV was completely repaired and we were ready to go after some training on the newly installed Garmin GPS. We gathered Mayim from her luxury kennel experience, programmed the new GPS for Springdale, outside of Zion National Park, and headed the RV south. We were on the road for two miles when the new GPS tried to route us onto a road closed for construction. No problem, when we didn’t make the turn, it rerouted us to the next option. Hip, hip, hurrah!

The mood of the RV was total joy. We were back on the road. We had our dog (freshly fluffed from her grooming at the kennel). We were on our way to meet up with Mel!!! He had left Southern California hours before and he was headed in his suburban to Zion also. It had been six long (very long – very, very long) weeks since we’d been together going through the Columbia Gorge and leaving from Boise, Idaho. The family would be together for Thanksgiving!!!

Thanks to cell phones, we kept track of the other’s progress and it began to look like Mel might arrive before we did. When we arrived in Springdale, we pulled over and parked along side of the road to get our bearings regarding the location of the RV Park. While I was looking up the address, Mel pulled up behind us. What great timing! After he was done being mauled by Dave’s giant bear hug, being jumped on by Sarah, almost knocked over by Mayim, it was my turn to say hello. It was so great to see him!

We went down the road to an RV park at the entrance of Zion National Park. The views were spectacular. The RV wasn’t stocked with any fresh food since it had been in repair for a week and I was scrambling trying to figure what to make for dinner.

Mel said that we were going out – he and Jerry had found a fantastic rustic steakhouse, The Majestic View Lodge, during their last road trip – and off we went, promising Mayim that we would bring her leftovers.



We had so much fun being together and our meals were fantastic. It was great to be with another grown-up and we shared a bottle of wine. Of course, we taught Mel how to play “Cheat,” and then beat him mercilessly since he didn’t know all the tricks. Dave used Mel’s camera to take pictures of the taxidermy and museum. Finally we went back to the RV and having him to snuggle against in the bed made me wonder how I’d slept a night through without him.

The next day we enjoyed Zion National Park. Iron oxide has colored the park’s sandstone vivid shades of red, ochre and white. The park is sculpted by water flow, during storms the Zion’s massive plateaus funnel to gathering points and 3 million tons of rocks and dirt are carried by rain runoff into the Virgin River yearly creating the deep chasms.



There was plenty of hiking available, but it felt nice just being together in beautiful locations near the roads. We packed a yummy picnic lunch with steak bites from last night’s dinner and could have taken a nap of the warm red rocks. The tree’s fall colors contrasted beautifully with the red hues of the rocks.

We did a small amount of hiking near the tunnel on the Zion-Mt. Carmel Highway. Sarah and I found that we preferred paths with handrails in areas where if you slipped, you would plunge to your death. We decided to let Dave and Mel head on without us and that is where some of Mel’s spectacular pictures came from. They are standing over the Kolob Arch – the second longest arch in the world.

Sarah decided she wasn’t impressed by Checkerboard Mesa, even after Mel gave her the 50 cent geology lecture -- she can be a tough audience. However she did enjoy the 1.1 mile-long tunnel with the fantastic views and The Three Patriarchs where she and Mayim frolicked in the nearby river. Dave and Mel were crestfallen when we couldn’t buy any ice cream. Finally we went to a visitor’s center and watched a movie, and left the park promising ourselves that we’d come back during warm weather to do the three mile hike through the water to get to The Narrows, an incredible slot canyon.

We spent another night in the RV park outside of Zion and then headed on to Thousand Trails Valley Verde in Cottonwood, Arizona near Sedona. Mel and Dave drove the RV with the tow car and I drove the Suburban with Sarah and Mayim as my companions. It scares me to think of, but Dave and Mel listened to Dave’s favorite Barrage CD of zippy up-beat violin music for the entire five hour trip.



We stopped to take pictures at Glen Canyon Dam outside of Lake Powell. Maybe it was the low water level, but Mel had been expected something more, and it was sad to watch him be disappointed. That didn’t stop him from taking pictures, as he likes to say “dam pictures.” Fortunately, it was beautiful in other areas on the drive and Mayim is always supportive of a stop.